Monday 26 March 2007

Making naughty.

It was an unusual weekend really. Saturday was quiet and unfortunately we are all now back on ordinary food. On Sunday However, we had a visitor. Denny Pixiechu’s not so little twin brother came round. He is huge, bigger than me and so grumpy. He can’t meow like a proper cat he just chats!

Anyway, he sauntered around the place, hissing at me and little Chuchu, I was not impressed at all! He and pixie then proceeded to chase each other around the house. Then……there was this awful smell! Denny had pooed in the bath! How naughty!

This piece of behaviour has inspired me to tell you all about my top five rated naughtys committed by me and my extended cat family. Please feel free to tell me all about yours, I’d love to hear! Feel free to spot the trend!

5: time out:
When I was a baby, I was sometimes a bit naughty and mummy would make me have time out. This would consist of being put somewhere for five minutes or so until I saw the error of my ways! One day, She thought I had been really naughty, I don’t remember what I had done, so she put me in the bathroom for 20 minutes. When she came to let me out and discuss my behaviour, I had taken my revenge and made my disgust at her treatment of me very plain. I had done a very big poo on the bathroom floor and wiped my dirty bottom on the packet of opened toilet rolls, leaving a nice brown stain! I was so very proud!

4: decorating the living room curtain.
A couple of years ago, when mummy went on holiday, she took me to stay at Yuckifield for a week. She was all packed, her suitcases were in the living room and I was starting to play up. I didn’t want her to go, so I demonstrated my disapproval by squatting and pooing on the curtain and carpet, it made a lovely squidgy mess!

3: Oscar doesn’t like mummy today.
Oscar arrived a few months after me and for some reason, one night, he took a dislike to mummy. He demonstrated this by climbing onto her bed, looking her straight in the eye and pooing on her duvet. If this was not bad enough, the next morning, when she was drying her hair, he sauntered in, climbed on the bed squatted and pooed and weed for good measure!

2: interior designing.
My Oscar and I became great mates and used to love to race up and down the stairs at Yuckifield all day and all night. One day, mummy and Oscar’s mummy were late coming home to feed us, so we decided to have a little more fun. Mummy finally arrived home when it was dark, she came up to see where we were and there we both were, sitting on the landing window sill with our heads poking through a huge hole we had such fun making in the horrible net curtain. It looked so much better after we had finished with it. Mummy pretended to be really cross but she almost pissed hersen laughing!

1: what’s for dinner?
One weekend last summer, Oscar’s mummy had gone down South to see her family. Oscar wanted to visit for the night and so he came round. Mummy fed us Hills and then started to prepare dinner for herself. She got a huge delicious looking piece of steak out of the fridge and put it on the George Foreman grill ready to season. She left it there for a couple of minutes while she put the remaining piece of steak in the freezer. My sisters and I are very good and know where cats can and cannot go in the house. Unfortunately, Oscar does not share such manners. When mummy came back into the house to season her steak, she found Oscar, on the kitchen counter, crouching over the steak, licking biting and growling at it. He thought it was for him. Mummy was so very angry and she and Oscar then engaged in a tug of war with the steak across the kitchen. She won and the steak went in the bin. Oscar was so angry, but not as much as mummy!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am still cross about that steak!

Biggles said...

Hello Paddy Ebenezer, sorree I coodn;t get to der pooter cos my dad kept bee in bizzy bizzy on it. not fare at orl. nah, i duzznt get into trubble reely cos I has my dooties as top cat, sea? and then after my petrole i yoojoolee (ca'nt spel dat werd, oanly won tho), needs a bite to eat and then a sleap. i duz sit on der table on der gardinian noose paper and my pear-rents say, bugger off biggles, but thats' cos they luv me!! we duz never ever poo in der hous not even runty at her wersted of peaing, and gwen is such a scaredy cat that she gose out. got too go now cos my sister zoe, wot is lower in der peckin order than mee and allstairs is cummin too stay.

Anonymous said...

Hi Paddy,

Stealing steak sounds fun! Mummy says I shouldn't get any ideas though.... might try it when Mummy is away at work coz Daddy's a bit more of a soft touch!

My naughtyness at the moment revolves around me chewing, scratching and digging up Mummy's plants. I know this is naughty as whenever Mummy sees me doing it she calls me "Moomin", points her finger and uses a strict voice..... normally she calls me "Moomie" and tickles my tum, I like that but I like my naughtyness too..... what a dilemma!

My sister Pip gets into trouble in the mornings when she wakes Daddy up by whacking him in the face with her paw. She gets up really early and gets bored when no-one will play with her. I've never seen her do this to Mummy though... I think she knows that Mummy gets grumpy when she wakes up too early!

Got to go and chew some plants. Mummy has said that she's going for a bath so I've got about an hour for naughtyness!

Catch up soon.

Moomin x

Biggles said...

coo paddy eb yoo yoos big werds like wot i do'nt understand. wots a whore-moan-ale? and whots a pre-minstral? us top cats sea, yoo ca'nt expect us to bovver wiv fancy werds liek that we is too bizzy on petrole.
but i tell yoo theirs bin two much kissy yuck yuck hear with zo and allstairs, and danl and rosies.
a werd of advise; do'nt poo i der house its' not nice and der hoomans dont' like it wot is why dey got dat silly room and der place wear dey sit to help make der effluent society.
i luv hills sience its'wunderfull. dey has tride fobbin me off wiv bits of lean sirloin stake and organic chicken and poched fresh fish but ha ha i no dat hills science is der only reel food!!! dey cant' fool me, wink wink.
ps der payrents is goin away to see a lady corled florence and wont' leave the puter on four mee when dey is a weigh. hurrumph.

Biggles said...

ackshirley i has bin finking about osker and the stake. i think yore mummy woz rong, if she left it out and did not say that it woz her stake then how woz osker to no?? orlsew, wot woz der point of then throwing it in the bin if did'nt wont it she cood have given it too osker and shared nicely like wot we is orl brort up too doo. i is an older cat and no these things.