Lola and paddy's big adventures.

I am pleased to say, after my concerned post of last weekend, that my sister Lola is now back at home safe and sound after a bit of an ordeal. She has told me about what happened, her adventure and I will now recount the story, together with my own little adventures and wanderings. Lola disappeared at some point between Thursday and Friday, she told me she went exploring because the weather was so good. She ventured out of the close in which we live onto the next street which is a little bit scary as there are lots of cars to hide under. It is also populated by unusual looking people who play loud music all the time. She got a bit spooked by the noise and went further afield to a big open concrete space where there are lots of garages.

One of the main things which sent her scurrying away was the behaviour of a strange lady on Saturday night. This lady came wandering out of her house at about midnight in her dressig gown and was wandering up and down the middle of the road singing hymns at the top of her voice. She then started screaming and shouting things which mummy said were racialist abuse! Mummy said she was drunk. Because she and other mummy were out looking for Lola they had to keep hiding so the strange lady wouldn’t see them!This made Lola so afraid of things that she went into one of the garages in the scary dark place to hide and couldn't find her way out. She slept a little and hid in among some bags of cement. She did cry out a number of times when she thought she heard mummy calling for her, but mummy didn't find where she was. Poor Lola was really upset. On Sunday morning, she again heard mummy and other mummy looking for her and called out to them. Then a big scary man in a van turned up and started banging really loud. Mummy told us that he was using a sledge hammer to break the padlock off the door. This really frightened Lola who burrowed her way into one of the bags, so much so that when other mummy went into look for her, she was far too scared to come out and they couldn’t find her. Probably just as well, as mummy said the man was really frightening! Fortunately, when the man shut the door again, he didn't do it properly, so that when it was dark and quiet, Lola was able to wriggle out and find her way home, very dirty, tired and hungry. She then went to the vets lucky thing. As for me, I had great adventures roaming everywhere and jumping out of alley ways far away from home eating food from food bowls which aren't mine and climbing over rubble in gardens to lay and hide. The best thing was jumping out on other mummy through a hole in the fence, it really made her jump!I did get mistaken for Lola though a number of times. Mummy had put posters up asking if anybody had seen a tortoiseshell and white cat with a pink collar, I am tabby and white and have a pink collar! I was captured by one of the neighbours and shut in their sitting room, the flat really smelled of old people and wee. I was so glad when mummy came to get me!
Really, do you think I look anything like this? Compare the two pictures and you will soon see how daft it was! Although my sister Lola is pretty, I am far more beautiful don’t you think?





This is me,

and this one is Lola!

I have also been injured. You know I blogged about my PMT a few weeks ago, I can now tell you that my neighbour told tales on me about what I have been being fed, lightly fried cod, beef, chicken etc. I got into a row with one of the other cats, Sparky or Freddie didn't do it but one of the other houses I go to. I had a big bloody scratch on my nose and now it has a scar. It makes me look well tough, except I'm not! So, as you can see, it's been a busy time and I haven't been able to blog. My Oscar also came to visit briefly on Wednesday night, he walked round the road following mummy all the way home without her noticing. He then ran around the close refusing to be caught, he is so naughty!

Paddy is concerned

My sister Lola loves the outside. She loves the sunshine and will play for hours. However, she has not been home since Wednesday and I am beginning to get concerned. She came in for a while in the middle of the night for a sleep, but since then has not been seen, well, not close up anyway! Mummy and other mummy have been out looking for her and they think she was seen last night, but nothing since. It is not the same without her. Please come home Lola!

PMT

This week I have been very very cross. mummy calls it PMT, paddy’s Mardy Time. I have really been angry and have not wanted to know mummy, Pixie or Lola at all. I have stalked around my street as if I owned the place, which I do. I have not been in the house when mummy is there because I wanted nothing to do with her and I have behaved hatefully to everybody. I like behaving like a queen bitch! But I cannot keep it up any longer and now I am okay. I have realized that all my stropping will not get my food changed to gourmet fish no matter how hard I try.

Making naughty.

It was an unusual weekend really. Saturday was quiet and unfortunately we are all now back on ordinary food. On Sunday However, we had a visitor. Denny Pixiechu’s not so little twin brother came round. He is huge, bigger than me and so grumpy. He can’t meow like a proper cat he just chats!

Anyway, he sauntered around the place, hissing at me and little Chuchu, I was not impressed at all! He and pixie then proceeded to chase each other around the house. Then……there was this awful smell! Denny had pooed in the bath! How naughty!

This piece of behaviour has inspired me to tell you all about my top five rated naughtys committed by me and my extended cat family. Please feel free to tell me all about yours, I’d love to hear! Feel free to spot the trend!

5: time out:
When I was a baby, I was sometimes a bit naughty and mummy would make me have time out. This would consist of being put somewhere for five minutes or so until I saw the error of my ways! One day, She thought I had been really naughty, I don’t remember what I had done, so she put me in the bathroom for 20 minutes. When she came to let me out and discuss my behaviour, I had taken my revenge and made my disgust at her treatment of me very plain. I had done a very big poo on the bathroom floor and wiped my dirty bottom on the packet of opened toilet rolls, leaving a nice brown stain! I was so very proud!

4: decorating the living room curtain.
A couple of years ago, when mummy went on holiday, she took me to stay at Yuckifield for a week. She was all packed, her suitcases were in the living room and I was starting to play up. I didn’t want her to go, so I demonstrated my disapproval by squatting and pooing on the curtain and carpet, it made a lovely squidgy mess!

3: Oscar doesn’t like mummy today.
Oscar arrived a few months after me and for some reason, one night, he took a dislike to mummy. He demonstrated this by climbing onto her bed, looking her straight in the eye and pooing on her duvet. If this was not bad enough, the next morning, when she was drying her hair, he sauntered in, climbed on the bed squatted and pooed and weed for good measure!

2: interior designing.
My Oscar and I became great mates and used to love to race up and down the stairs at Yuckifield all day and all night. One day, mummy and Oscar’s mummy were late coming home to feed us, so we decided to have a little more fun. Mummy finally arrived home when it was dark, she came up to see where we were and there we both were, sitting on the landing window sill with our heads poking through a huge hole we had such fun making in the horrible net curtain. It looked so much better after we had finished with it. Mummy pretended to be really cross but she almost pissed hersen laughing!

1: what’s for dinner?
One weekend last summer, Oscar’s mummy had gone down South to see her family. Oscar wanted to visit for the night and so he came round. Mummy fed us Hills and then started to prepare dinner for herself. She got a huge delicious looking piece of steak out of the fridge and put it on the George Foreman grill ready to season. She left it there for a couple of minutes while she put the remaining piece of steak in the freezer. My sisters and I are very good and know where cats can and cannot go in the house. Unfortunately, Oscar does not share such manners. When mummy came back into the house to season her steak, she found Oscar, on the kitchen counter, crouching over the steak, licking biting and growling at it. He thought it was for him. Mummy was so very angry and she and Oscar then engaged in a tug of war with the steak across the kitchen. She won and the steak went in the bin. Oscar was so angry, but not as much as mummy!

more about me

I thought it was time to do a little research into the history of where I and my fellow feline counterparts come from. I have found some interesting facts about cats, which you can look at here: http://www.xmission.com/~emailbox/trivia.htm

Some of the most interesting and perhaps unusual things this site tells you include:

• Cats do not have a collarbone, so they can fit through any opening the size of their head.
• A cat has a total of 24 whiskers, 4 rows of whiskers on each side. The upper two rows can move independently of the bottom two rows. A cat uses its whiskers
for measuring distances.
• Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, about 26 cycles per second. (I have also heard that it is 29 cycles per second but I guess it depends on the cat).
• Cats respond most readily to names that end in an "ee" sound. (except Pixie my littlest sister) Maybe that’s why Lola always ignores mummy when she is being spoken to!
• If a cat is frightened, put your hand over its eyes and forehead, or let him bury his head in your armpit to help calm him. (this applies to Lola who is always hiding her face).
• A cat can jump 5 times as high as it is tall.
• If your cat snores or rolls over on his back to expose his belly, it means he trusts you.

Thank you to the person who compiled these interesting facts, there are many more you can have a look at if you are minded to.

This site http://www.cfainc.org/articles/myths-facts.html also helps dispel some of the common myths about cats.

Diagrammatical explanations.

Well, it has been a strange week this week. Poor Lola has been on her antibiotic medication which means we have all been getting special food at dinner time. Mummy thinks we are stupid, so she has been hiding Lola’s medicine in her nice food to trick her into eating it. The trick has worked though.

Lola’s bottom still smelled like an abattoir so I was very jealous when she went back to see the vet yesterday to get her glands squeezed again. Here is a picture so you can get a bit of an idea.

The vet wanted mummy to keep a closer eye on Lola’s toilet movements, so we got the dreaded litter tray back.

We were shut in the kitchen while mummy went out, she didn’t trust us not to toilet where we shouldn’t! I don’t know where she gets this mistrust from, just because when I lived or stayed at Yuckifield with my Oscar I used the attic as my own personal toilet. She also hasn’t forgotten the times I crapped on her bed in protest when first Lola and then Pixie arrived! So, we were shut in the kitchen for a while, but because it was hot mummy let us have the run of the rest of the house. She did take all the cushions and rugs away though, because Lola has previously been naughty by peeing on them when she is cross! Poor Lola got so dreadfully upset though, that the litter tray went this morning and we have all been allowed out again al day. I wish mummy would make her bloody mind up!

The bum’s rush!

I have had rather a quiet week this week, visiting my other houses for food on a regular basis, staying out late and then coming home for my second dinner. Mummy has been at work all week so the house has been pretty quiet.

There was a bit of an event last night however, as Lola was taken in the car to the vet. She has been rather aromatic in the back end department recently, not a pleasant aroma might I add. She told me that the vet took her temperature, lucky thing (but she didn’t like it) and then they took her into another room and squeezed her glands so that the nasty stuff she was storing in there came out! It was yuck and apparently very painful. She smells much better now though! I wish someone would squeeze my glands! !