Making naughty.

It was an unusual weekend really. Saturday was quiet and unfortunately we are all now back on ordinary food. On Sunday However, we had a visitor. Denny Pixiechu’s not so little twin brother came round. He is huge, bigger than me and so grumpy. He can’t meow like a proper cat he just chats!

Anyway, he sauntered around the place, hissing at me and little Chuchu, I was not impressed at all! He and pixie then proceeded to chase each other around the house. Then……there was this awful smell! Denny had pooed in the bath! How naughty!

This piece of behaviour has inspired me to tell you all about my top five rated naughtys committed by me and my extended cat family. Please feel free to tell me all about yours, I’d love to hear! Feel free to spot the trend!

5: time out:
When I was a baby, I was sometimes a bit naughty and mummy would make me have time out. This would consist of being put somewhere for five minutes or so until I saw the error of my ways! One day, She thought I had been really naughty, I don’t remember what I had done, so she put me in the bathroom for 20 minutes. When she came to let me out and discuss my behaviour, I had taken my revenge and made my disgust at her treatment of me very plain. I had done a very big poo on the bathroom floor and wiped my dirty bottom on the packet of opened toilet rolls, leaving a nice brown stain! I was so very proud!

4: decorating the living room curtain.
A couple of years ago, when mummy went on holiday, she took me to stay at Yuckifield for a week. She was all packed, her suitcases were in the living room and I was starting to play up. I didn’t want her to go, so I demonstrated my disapproval by squatting and pooing on the curtain and carpet, it made a lovely squidgy mess!

3: Oscar doesn’t like mummy today.
Oscar arrived a few months after me and for some reason, one night, he took a dislike to mummy. He demonstrated this by climbing onto her bed, looking her straight in the eye and pooing on her duvet. If this was not bad enough, the next morning, when she was drying her hair, he sauntered in, climbed on the bed squatted and pooed and weed for good measure!

2: interior designing.
My Oscar and I became great mates and used to love to race up and down the stairs at Yuckifield all day and all night. One day, mummy and Oscar’s mummy were late coming home to feed us, so we decided to have a little more fun. Mummy finally arrived home when it was dark, she came up to see where we were and there we both were, sitting on the landing window sill with our heads poking through a huge hole we had such fun making in the horrible net curtain. It looked so much better after we had finished with it. Mummy pretended to be really cross but she almost pissed hersen laughing!

1: what’s for dinner?
One weekend last summer, Oscar’s mummy had gone down South to see her family. Oscar wanted to visit for the night and so he came round. Mummy fed us Hills and then started to prepare dinner for herself. She got a huge delicious looking piece of steak out of the fridge and put it on the George Foreman grill ready to season. She left it there for a couple of minutes while she put the remaining piece of steak in the freezer. My sisters and I are very good and know where cats can and cannot go in the house. Unfortunately, Oscar does not share such manners. When mummy came back into the house to season her steak, she found Oscar, on the kitchen counter, crouching over the steak, licking biting and growling at it. He thought it was for him. Mummy was so very angry and she and Oscar then engaged in a tug of war with the steak across the kitchen. She won and the steak went in the bin. Oscar was so angry, but not as much as mummy!

more about me

I thought it was time to do a little research into the history of where I and my fellow feline counterparts come from. I have found some interesting facts about cats, which you can look at here: http://www.xmission.com/~emailbox/trivia.htm

Some of the most interesting and perhaps unusual things this site tells you include:

• Cats do not have a collarbone, so they can fit through any opening the size of their head.
• A cat has a total of 24 whiskers, 4 rows of whiskers on each side. The upper two rows can move independently of the bottom two rows. A cat uses its whiskers
for measuring distances.
• Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, about 26 cycles per second. (I have also heard that it is 29 cycles per second but I guess it depends on the cat).
• Cats respond most readily to names that end in an "ee" sound. (except Pixie my littlest sister) Maybe that’s why Lola always ignores mummy when she is being spoken to!
• If a cat is frightened, put your hand over its eyes and forehead, or let him bury his head in your armpit to help calm him. (this applies to Lola who is always hiding her face).
• A cat can jump 5 times as high as it is tall.
• If your cat snores or rolls over on his back to expose his belly, it means he trusts you.

Thank you to the person who compiled these interesting facts, there are many more you can have a look at if you are minded to.

This site http://www.cfainc.org/articles/myths-facts.html also helps dispel some of the common myths about cats.

Diagrammatical explanations.

Well, it has been a strange week this week. Poor Lola has been on her antibiotic medication which means we have all been getting special food at dinner time. Mummy thinks we are stupid, so she has been hiding Lola’s medicine in her nice food to trick her into eating it. The trick has worked though.

Lola’s bottom still smelled like an abattoir so I was very jealous when she went back to see the vet yesterday to get her glands squeezed again. Here is a picture so you can get a bit of an idea.

The vet wanted mummy to keep a closer eye on Lola’s toilet movements, so we got the dreaded litter tray back.

We were shut in the kitchen while mummy went out, she didn’t trust us not to toilet where we shouldn’t! I don’t know where she gets this mistrust from, just because when I lived or stayed at Yuckifield with my Oscar I used the attic as my own personal toilet. She also hasn’t forgotten the times I crapped on her bed in protest when first Lola and then Pixie arrived! So, we were shut in the kitchen for a while, but because it was hot mummy let us have the run of the rest of the house. She did take all the cushions and rugs away though, because Lola has previously been naughty by peeing on them when she is cross! Poor Lola got so dreadfully upset though, that the litter tray went this morning and we have all been allowed out again al day. I wish mummy would make her bloody mind up!

The bum’s rush!

I have had rather a quiet week this week, visiting my other houses for food on a regular basis, staying out late and then coming home for my second dinner. Mummy has been at work all week so the house has been pretty quiet.

There was a bit of an event last night however, as Lola was taken in the car to the vet. She has been rather aromatic in the back end department recently, not a pleasant aroma might I add. She told me that the vet took her temperature, lucky thing (but she didn’t like it) and then they took her into another room and squeezed her glands so that the nasty stuff she was storing in there came out! It was yuck and apparently very painful. She smells much better now though! I wish someone would squeeze my glands! !

Irrational fears.

I was browsing the internet and came across this very interesting site about phobias.
http://www.hypnotherapykettering.co.uk/Pages/Phobia%20Description.htm#C
It has a complete alphabetical list of descriptions of different fears and the correct name for the phobia. Some amusing phobias include:

1: fear of Peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth- Arachibutyrophobia.

2: fear of being Tickled by feathers or feathers- Pteronophobia.

3: fear of Washing- Ablutophobia. I think my Oscar has this one!

4: fear of Knees- Genuphobia.

However, I do hope that nobody who reads my site has Aclurophobia, also known as Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Felinophobia, Galeophobia, or Gatophobia. Fear of cats.

Please have a look at the site and let me know A what you think and B which phobia you have.

the scene

When I filled in Oscar’s quiz a while ago I said that one of the places I would most like to visit is Blackpool because apparently it has a good gay scene. Well, I understand that a shy cat called Moomin who lives in Blackpool looked at my blog last week but was nervous about putting a comment.

Well, I’d just like to say hello to Moomin and his two sisters Pip and Jen, I think pip is a girl anyway)! I think that Moomin and I may have some things in common. We both have two sisters, he lives in Blackpool and I want to visit Blackpool, but I don’t know if he is gay like me! Maybe he can become my pen pal? I hope so.

I also wanted to say another hello to Biggles who put a nice comment on my site last week. The answer to your question about whether I am also called gay, as in a name, is yes. It was difficult for me to understand about gayness when I was little like you, but as you get older and more worldly wise, you will understand. My friend Monty from London is also a baby and I don’t think he understands about gay cats either! Not sure about Leo and Shadow from Canada though, maybe they don’t have cats of different sexualities in Canada!

Psycho analysis.

I have been wondering recently what mine and my sisters’ behaviour and characteristics say about us and how these are interpreted by others. I have therefore decided to give a little synopsis of my ponderings for the interest of those of you who read my blog. Please feel free to add any thoughts or comments.

Lola:
Lola is a funny one, she is symmetrical and beautiful and is always extremely well groomed. She is constantly washing herself and even went as far once as to wash her leg so much that she grew a bald patch. Some of the research I have been undertaking into this behaviour suggests that Lola could be described as having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, more commonly known as OCD. Lola will wash when she is nervous , or if anybody has touched a certain part of her.

Pixie:
Now Pixie is odd, she is almost always so full of energy, racing around everywhere, leaping and charging through the cat flap and jus generally being hyper. Then, suddenly, when she becomes tired she will jus flop and stretch herself out like a flat pancake snake and go to sleep. I have been looking at what her symptoms could indicate by surfing the internet. The nearest I can come up with is Bipolar disorder, more commonly known as manic depression but that isn’t quite right. She definitely has the mania part, but the depression element is simply not there, she is such a happy little thing. Maybe then she is just polar? Another condition which could fit her characteristics is attention deficit hyperactive disorder, ADHD. This means that the individual, or in this case the cat is always hyperactive with loads of energy, but has a very short attention span. Do you think this describes Pixie?

Me: Paddy:

I’m not too sure how to describe myself, other than a little odd. The fact that I only like to sit on the spots on the rug could mean that I am a little asbergers, but I’m not too sure. I also have particular places I need to sit, such as on the back of the armchair, and I need to sleep at the bottom right hand side of mummy’s bed. I also determine whether it is going to be a good or a bad day by which spot on the rug I sit on.

I will have a think about my Oscar, Molly and Dennace and do a little more research into behavioural traits and get back to you about what I think they may have.