I'm the only gay in the village

enough already!

2009-03-06T12:45:00.002Z

Ok, well, you know the other day that I was saying how nice it would be to have blind mummy around during the day? Wel, she is stealing my sunshine, waking me up when I want to sleep, combing me when I don't want to be combed and generally just being far far too much!

While it is lovely to spend time with blind mummy at weekends and in the evenings, because she has been at home all the time as she is poorly, she has been using me as her entertainmnet. I only want to be stroked and cuddled when I want to be stroked and cuddled....not when she wants me to! I mean, how is a gay cat supposed to chill out, relax and sun himself when he keeps being disturbed like this?

Bring on Monday when she returns to the place she calls work!

blue murder!

2009-03-02T20:05:00.002Z

Well, blind mummy went away on her epic walkikng thing with her cuban friends, so this meant that clumsy accident prone mummy looked after me and my sisters, with Bernie and Alan's mum making th the occasional appearance to stroke me.

While I missed blind mummy, it was lovely to spend time with accident prone mummy, she is way less strict than blind mummy and we were allowed to do naughties like eating on the work surfaces and I had special honey salmon flakes one day as I am the favourite and I own clumsy mummy and she will do ANYTHING to please me! She stayed with us some nights and brought Molly to visit, Molly is a little scary.

Blind mummy is back now and has been sleeping a lot. I would sleep a lot if I had been on a very very long walk too I think. She is not at work this week and so will be spending time with us in the day which I like.

Hello to all my friends

I'm nearly 6 next January

2009-01-31T19:17:00.002Z

HEllo my friends, I have not been around for ages I know for this, I am most deeply sorry. Blind mummy has been hogging the computer and not allowing me to express myself. Today, however, as it was my birthday this week, she has allowed me to use the computer.

I hope all my friends are well. My poor friend Biggles from london has been very badly poorly, get well soon Biggles.

I too have been injured before Christmas. I was bitten on the face by a nasty. I was eating some food and the nasty came to interrupt me which made me cross. Thenasty wouldn't let me eat the food and bitted me on the face twice. I got two nasty wounds and hat to go to the Dewsbury place to see the vet. HE shaved half my facial fur off and cut a hole in my face to drain the nasty poison out. It was yuck, I smelled a bit fusty and deaf mummy had to keep coming to see me to pick my scabs off so that the wounds would heal. I looked such a sight that I was embarrassed to blog because I was not as beautiful as I usually am.

I am now so much better, though I am a little lopsided still. Fortunately, my fur decided not to wait til March to grow back.

Poor Oscar has also been poorly he had a bad throat but he is better now too. Molly also had a funny eye but she is also well. Pixie and Lola and Denny are all healthy and fit.

I have some lovely new catnip spray which deaf mummy bought for Christams. blind mummy keeps sprayin it on the rug and my sisters and I love to writhe around and play in the scent of it.

Anyway. nuff for now take care

a very long rest

2008-10-01T17:57:00.002Z

As you all are aware, it can be very tiring being a cat, especially the only gay in the village! This is the only explanation I feel obliged to offer for my blog silence over the past two and a half months. I have not been doing anything particularly special, but I have just had feline writer's blog block. In addition, blind mummy has been keeping all the upstairs doors shut during the day through the summer, after a rather messy incident or two after Pixie went hunting. I will blame pixie because as the feminine gay cat that I am, I am far too flouncy to engage in such tomboyish activities as hunting and chasing mice and birds!

Anyway, the incidents to which I refer relate to pixie and I having a little feast on her roadkill presents and them not particularly agreeing with us. This led to a couple of trails of unpleasant regurgitation on both my beds in blind mummy's room and in deaf clumsy mummy's room. I don't understand why, but blind mummy was not impressed with my caring sharing intentions and has kept the doors firmly shut ever since, thus impeding my access to the computer.

However, now that the winter is well and truly on its way, hunting season is probably over for Pixie so we are given a little more lenience during the day.....at last!

Blind mummy has been away on holiday and visiting her friends recently which has meant that we have been home alone at weekends rather a lot lately. Deaf/clumsy mummy has been coming to feed us which has been nice. I have also discovered the short cut to my oscar's house (deaf/clumsy mummy also lives there too), the shortcut which blind mummy uses when she has been drinking alcohol or when it is dark. It involves cutting down the side of a house, through an access way and through a convenient hole in the fence. Really this is a route which should only be used by cats, but blind mummy says that why walk five minutes round the road when you can get home in 30 seconds by taking the short cut? The only problem is, the shortcut way has become rather a dumping ground and she has to navigate fridges, old bicycles and discarded sofas. My Oscar loved one of the sofas and used to sleep on it until someone set it on fire.....we live in a really nice neighbourhood as you can tell!

Anyway, before I close I just wanted to say a big hello to Mr Old Tarf from Canada, top cat Biggles from London, cousin Monty who has a ginger mouth and my Oscar Molly and Denny. It would be nice if there were more visitors to my blog but I am a private cat and don't like to advertise!!

Hope it is not another two and a half months before blind mummy allows me access to the computer!

my little cuban friend

2008-07-11T21:01:00.002Z

Blind mummy and monty's mummy have gone a bit mad! I don't know what all the fuss is about myself ut hey ho who am I to question the reasonings of human beings, I am a cat and therefore far superior!

Blind mummy and Monty's mummy who is one of the links from my page, are going to a place called Cuba in February and they are gonig to walk and walk and walk for a long time for charity. They are raising money for something called MIND which is the organ with which I velieve you think. It is SOMETHING TO DO WITH RAISING AWARENESS OF MENTAL HEALTH OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. aNYWAY,M BLIND MUMMY IS PANICKING A LITTLE BIT OR IN HER WORDS, A BIT DAUNTED BY HAVING TO RAISE SO MUCH MONEY. sHE IS ALSO EXCITED.

i KNOW i DON'T HAVE MANY VISITORS TO MY PAGE, BUT IF YOU DO VISIT AND YOU WOULD LIKE TO SPONSOR MUMMY AND HER FRIEND WALKING ACROSS cUBA, PLEASE CHECK OUT THE ONLINE FUNDRAISING SITE.

http://www.justgiving.com/simoneygirard

i WOULD BVE EVERSO GRATEFUL AS IT WOULD SHUT MUMMY UP AND STOP HER FROM PULLING HER HAIR OUT!

maNY THANKS

ASBOs and hoodies

2008-06-29T16:38:00.002Z

There are some really nasty people living in the houses behind my garden. Today, they have been shooting pellet guns at me and my sisters. I am scared! Mummy says they are ASBO hoody teenagers.

This is a picture of one of them, they don't have any faces and are really mean!

the scary intruder

2008-06-22T13:59:00.002Z

It has taken me a week to get over the trauma of last Friday morning, but I now feel able to share the story with you all.

I was in a lovely deep sleepd on mummy's feet, on the blanket at the bottom of the bed when I was rudely awoken, along with mummy by a horrendous screaming and screeching from downstairs. I was very scared so hid under the bed.

Mummy went to investigate and heard noises coming from behind the glass cabinet in the living room. Pixie my sister was very interested in what was behind there. There was then a glapping noise and mummy screamed, ran out of the house in her night dress and rang other mummy to come and help. It was just after 5 30 in the morning and there was a birdy birdy in the house which was very much alive with a very long beak and was flying around and around the light like a moth.

Other mummy arrived 5 mninutes later and we all stood around in the street wondering what to do. The birdy birdy was on top of the curtain rail and pixie was going mad trying to catch it. I decided at this point, as the oldest cat that it was my responsibility to take charge and try to look after blind mummy and deaf mummy. I sauntered into the house and gave the birdy birdy a hard stare. IT pointed its beak at me, squarked and flew out of the house, with me in its wake! I returned home 10 minutes later after it had gone to find both blind and deaf mummy drinking coffee and Pixie still looking bemused trying to find the birdy birdy.

My Oscar told me that it is probably the same birdy birdy that got locked in his bathroom the other week. What with this, the 3 legged mouse we were chasing round the rug and the half eaten decomposing thing that I regurgitated on the rug, my bed and other mummy's bed, we are now not allowed in the upstairs bedrooms when blind mummy isn't in the house to supervise. I have started to copy my oscar and have taken to sleeping on the bathroom mat. Hope mummy will start to forget and allow us back onto my bed soon!

who said exercise was good for you?

2008-05-03T16:09:00.003Z

Oh dear, poor blind mummy had a slight accident today! it is a very funny story. I know it is not nice to laugh at the misfortune of others, but really, she is a silly mummy!

Blind mummy goes to the gym on a regular basis and tends to try to keep fairly healthy, unlike blind drunk mummy who drinks and smokes too much and believes the best form of exercise is sleeping or walking to and from the fridge to get the chilled bottle of wine, or the cat food. That's more my kind of exercise too, sleeping is an art form you know!

Well, blind drunk mummy has some kind of interactive game thing that she plays on the television, something about weeing, but that is a little personal and I don't quite understand it. Well, I digress.

Today, blind drunk mummy bought an additional attachment for her weeing game which is to help her get and stay fit. She and blind mummy were learning how to use it in blind drunk mummy's house and blind mummy not blind drunk mummy for a change, managed to fall and hurt her ankle. She is now hobbling around on just one leg. If she was a cat, she would have three good legs and one bad leg which is much easier to hobble around on than just one silly human leg!

Well, that will teach her to slack of from the gym and pretend to get fit at home!

Sorry to those of you who have already commented on this post for the original error suggesting that it was blind durnk rather than blind mummy who had the accidnet!

But I thought Biggles was a cat!!

2008-04-29T16:27:00.003Z

I am extremely confused, (doesn't take much, I know). Blind mummy and Oscar's mummy (have been talking all weekend about their adventures as biggles at the weekend in the sky! I don't understand what they mean as I thought Biggles was my ginger penfriend cat from London. Now they are talking about having flown in the sky in a small plane like Biggles did! Did you fly Biggles, please help me to understand.

Here is a picture of the plane they said they flew in.

Doesn't look much like a cat to me!

more pictures

2008-04-13T20:28:00.005Z

I have found some more lovely pictures of me and my sisters for you to enjoy.

The above picture is my sister Pixie, she is a flat pancake snake!

This is me checking myself out in the mirror to make sure I am pristine and groomed.

This is Lola looking a bit gormless

Finally, here is a picture of me guarding my computer to make sure that Lola and Pixie dopn't interfere with my blog.

I hope you like these new photos.

celebrations

2008-03-31T20:18:00.003Z

Hello to all my friends. I have been rather lax lately in updating on my blog for which I sincerely offer my apologies. I have simply been too tired and it has been so cold that I have just wanted to sleep.

I now have my lovely new shed to play on and like sitting to regard my domaine when it is not raining.

This week has been a week of celebrations. On Saturday mummy went to Manchester to celebrate Auntie Wales' birthday and they all had a lovely time. Tomorrow it is my sister Lola and Molly's birthday, they will be three. On Saturday this weekend it is mummy's birthday and it will be the fourth anniversary of my homecoming to live with mummy. Here is a picture of what i looked like back then.

I was so cute, wasn't I?

my valentine

2008-02-16T18:55:00.002Z

I am so happy, I have a secret admirer! I have a valentine! I wonder who it might be.

disruption in my garden

2008-02-10T21:06:00.000Z

There was a big upheaval in my garden yesterday. My shed was taken away! My grandparents, mummy and other mummy took it to pieces bit by bit and it went away in a big blue car. It was very noisy and disturbed my rest. I wanted to lie on the shed and sunbathe, but now it has gone!

There are lots of things in the house that shouldn't be there at the moment, mummy says that my new shed will be here in a couple of weeks though.

the sky is crying

2008-01-21T18:28:00.000Z

The sky has been crying all day again! Mummy came home early from work because all the trains had been cancelled. she had to get a bus from Bradford and it took her over two hours! It is she says, like the time I went to the vet to get my teeth done and she and other mummy drove for hours in the yellow thing with me in the back crying with a sore throat!

The beck flooded again this morningi and they are worried that it might flood again tonight. Maybe we will get evacuated like when it was the war!

Here are a couple of pictures of hwat it was like in June when it flooded.

Firstly, here is a picture of Plumpton Road where I go to get food sometimes.

Secondly, this is the road where other mummy lifes. As you can see, she couldn't get in or out!

confusion

2008-01-12T21:29:00.000Z

Dear readers,
I am very sorry that I have not been able to blog recently. there is a very interesting reason why not. Mummy used to keep the computer in other mummy's bedroom, it was a big thing with a big keyboard and I knew how to use it. However, in the post Christmas sale, she put this computer in the garden! She said it was old broken and useless. In its place, she has bought a brand new smaller computer. I don't understand this machine, apparently it is something called a laptop and it is very technologically advanced and difficult to use! I have only just now plucked up the courage to use it.

Mummy says it is fantastic as it enables her to sit on the sofa and use the internet instead of locking herself away upstairs. This means that I can sit on the back of the sofa and look over her shoulder at what she is doing and then if she is not looking, take the opportunity to use it. Let's face it, she won't be looking often because she is blind so this could become a great advantage!

I hope you all had a good christmas and that my friends will come back to my blog soon.

Best wishes and happy new year

Paddy

festive thoughts

2007-12-21T23:17:00.000Z

At this time of year, Christmas, my mum says it should snow so it feels festive. I would like it to snow thenI could hide in the snow like this cat here. it looks fun. As I have a lot of white on me I could hide very easily.

At Christmas it is also strange beause the trees which are usually outside come inside and they are decoratd with lots of lights and flashing sparkly things. pixie likes this as it issomething for her to tap, chase, climb and try to eat.

We are going to the cattery on Sunday to celebrate Christmas with all the other cats. We will get presents and nice food and may even be allowed to wear festive and funny hats like this

Merry christmas to all my friends, Biggles, Molly #denny oscar lola and Pixie. Also to Louie down south and Shadow and Leo's former mum in Canada, to monty an dMonty's mummy and old tarf.

much better thanks

2007-11-10T15:30:00.000Z

To all my nice friends, I just wanted to say thank you for your concern about my health. i am much better now thank you and my apetite is back to normal. I showed blind mummy that I was better by bringing her a dead mouse at 4 in the morning as a way of thanking her for looking after me when I was feeling ill! She didn't appreciate it....I really don't understand why!

You may have read from Oscar's blog that Denny was ill too last week, he had an explosion out of his bottom and had to spena a night in hospital. I don't think I have told you about the time I had a very bad tummy bug that went on for three months. I had bottom explosions all the time, but that, as my friend Biggles would say "is private"! I remember that mummy was very worried about me and took me to the vets lots. She said that the house smelled all the time and even though I couldn'thelp it, she wished I would not have accidents all over the computer leads and plug sockets!

Fortunately, my constitution sems to have improved dramatically since then...just as well really, now that I have my two sisters to look after. Anyway, I digress!

I har from Denny that we now have new vets who live just along the end of th road...this will mean that we won't have to go in the yellow hting any more unless it is an emergency at night and we have to go to Dewsbury like Denny. Dennysays that the new vets are very nice.

I wonder if mummy will have to go to the vets soon. Although her bump on her head is mow better, thank you Biggles ofr aksing, she had another accident on Thursday. She said she fell down a flight of steps in a place called Bradford station and landed on her back, her bottom and her side. She is walking funny at the momnt and said she is very aching and bruised. What is it with these parents hwo keep having accidents? I think she has been learning lessons from Oscar's mummyu who is always having accidents. Maybe that is what happens when p[arents get old?

It was very scary last weekend, well Pixie and lola were scared, as there were lots of bangs and flashes in the sky. Pixie hid under the sofa and shook lots and other mummy had to come and check on her because blind mummy wen out with London auntie who cme to visit. I didn't mind the bangs really, well, there ws food around so I had to make the most of Pixie and lola not being there to eat their food. I had three bowls, it was lovely!

I also want to say hello to my friend in Canada old Tarf, he is mummy's friend's daddy, grandfther to Monty who stayed in my house one night once. Blind mummy also says hello to old tarf.

oh, just one more thing, to remind you. on Tuesday, 13th Novebmer it is the first birthday of my blog, so happybirthday to Paddy's blog!

sung in the tune from the theme from Joseph and his amazing technicolour dream coat

2007-10-23T15:25:00.000Z

"poor poor paddy,
what you going to do?
things look bad for you,
so, what you going to do"

Hello, well I am feeling a little under the weather at the moment. I have been a little off colour since saturday night/sunday morning. I have been lethargic, slept on the armchair and have not moved at all and have refused my last three meals.....even pouches. I have also been a little warm to the touch.

Mummy and other mummy who is also poorly thinks it is with a thyroid or something but waiting for blood tests, took me to the vet last night. I did not like it at all, which is not like me. I was grumpy and floppy on the vet table and i growled at him when he touched me and stuck the thermometur mp my bottom.

The diagnosis of my current malady is a temperature of 1.5 degrees above the norm and therefore perhaps a little infecton. He gave me two injections and sent me home.

I think I am feeling a little bit better today although I have been asleep all day again. Pixie liked eating my food, she had hers, mine and Lola's too and did a big sick onher food mat. Sh eis a little more ladylike than Molly oscar and Denny though as she didnot try to eat it.

blogger's block

2007-10-14T12:55:00.000Z

I have not blogged for a while as mummy has been away so access to the computer has been limited. Since she has been back though I have simply been far too tired and busy. I have spent most of the week sleeping, stretching, eating and being beautiful.

It has been nice having my Oscar come to visit through the flap, but I am not impressed that he came and finished off all 3 bowls of food.....that is my job! Molly also came to visit but she did not use the flap, she came in through the door. We played on the stairs for a bit and then she hissed at me so I punched her!

Paddy and Oscar and brothers' and sisters' joint blog

2007-09-26T23:28:00.000Z

This is a joint blog from Paddy-Gay-In-Der Vilj and Oscar’s Staff who are both very traumatised and are needing support.

This evening was quite eventful really. All was well until approximately 9.32pm. Oscar’s Staff had been to Marks and Spencers with Sensible Staff and Blind Mummy was at home enjoying her first day of annual leave. Oscar’s Staff went to Blind Mummy’s house and wrote some things and then went home to drink a bottle of nice pink fizzy wine. She got home and opened the door…

There was a squawk and a flutter so she closed the door and rang Blind Mummy for support. She went in the yellow thing with black and red stripes and collected BM from the road and they both returned to investigate the squawk and flutter incident. There was much knocking of knees, whimpering and hiding behind things. in the house there OS saw dead bird doing a headstand behind the basket of washing in the hall way. It was yuck. There were feathers scattered throughout the downstairs of the house, trails of dried bird poo and scatterings of purple blood over the floor, walls, curtains, sofa , table, kitchen cupboards, cushions, front door, cat flap and just above the ‘tv guide’ button on the Sky Remote. Denny was proud. Oscar was scared and still smelt of the canal and Molly hid under the washing basket.

Then began the clean up operation which rivalled that which followed the Wakefield floods.

This required the assistance of the nice bottle of pink fizzy wine from Marks and Spencer which, in case you were wondering, was a different colour from the purple bird blood. The hoover is now full of bird. The bird did not want to go into the Sainsburys orange bag. It seemed to still have a lot of feathers despite the fact that the whole ground floor looked like an explosion in a mattress factory.

It was really really really yuck. BM and OS had to watch Condle in the Wind on repeat to recover.It is now 00.23 and neither of them want to go to sleep and blame Alfred Hitchcock.

Oscar’s Staff, in the midst of the clean up operation, managed to break a pasta jar and cut a finger on her non broken crippled not when she was drunk arm. Whilst soaking the curtain, Blind Mummy managed to dismember the penguin shower curtain but at least she managed to make Oscar smell of Bilberry leave in hair conditioner rather than canal.

A very stressful day we think. We are asleep preparing for tomorrow.

Oscar, MollyMoo, Dennypoo, Paddy Ebeneezer, LolaBean and PixieChu

hidden treasures

2007-09-10T19:37:00.001Z

I am very excited! Mummy finallybrought her old dead laptop computer home from work last week. It is fit for nothing but the bin, but she knew that somewhere on it, there were pictures of me as a baby and she finally decided, after much scratching and protesting from me, that she would try ot salvage them.

So, last night, armed with other mummy, knives, screw drivers and determination, I understand tha tafter a couple of beers they got to work trying to break into the stubborn machine.

Apparently, when they finally got it open, although it wouldn't switch on, the compact disc on which the photos were kept wasn't in teh computer after all. But they did find teh pictures on other mummy's computer. here are a few for you to enjoy.

This was me and Oscare when we lived together in Micklefield. He is now so much bigger than me!

This was me when I was very tiny in the pet shop before mummy took me home. I was much smaller than my feeding bowl and shared this glass cage with my birth brothers and sisters. I was always much dirtier than them as I liked to roll in their wee!

I might post some more pictures later.

new friends

2007-09-01T21:53:00.000Z

Today will be a very brief message but I just wanted to say hello to all my new friends. For those of you who don't know, my sisters and I as well as my best Oscar and his brother and sister mollly and denny all are members of catbook,t he cat version of the facebook site that has taken the world by storm. anyway, we lal have lots of new cat friends and I just wanted to acknowledge yo uall here.

Obviously Oscar will always remain my best, my best friend and I am his best (thyis is because we used to live together and got into lots of trouble in Yickyfield) and I still have my biggles friend from London who is a to p ca twith a private tummy. I hope some of my new friends will come and visti my site here and say hello.

by the way, I am a little cross today as mummy went to London to see the joseph and did not get home in time to feed me at the usual time. I had to wait until nearly 10 o'clock for my dinner how disgraceful!

a little bit green

2007-08-25T18:15:00.001Z

Today I am feeling a little bit under the weather. I am not sure exactly what is wrong but I have just had no energy, wanted to lie stretche dout on the rug all day and just not wanted to move. It is a bit better now that it has begun to cool down but I really don't like the heat!

Pixie went to the vet for her injections today and she is feeling a little off colour too.

My poor Oscar is having a day of turmoil, his staff is painting the house again and it smells funny, the furniture is everywhere and ther eis so much temptation to play in the paint, they are not allowed though. i think tha tis sensible. I don't like paint. Whyen mummy painted our house we all went to stay at other mummy's house with Oscar but lola escaped and came home.

I hope all my friends are enjoying their bank holiday weekend.

The Mysterious Moving Cat

2007-08-17T16:22:00.000Z

Things that go bump in the night. And the day.

There is a new cat that has moved into our house except it doesn't talk and it doesn't eat. It doesn't miaow and it doesn't purr. It just sits on the stairs looking like this:

I have tried to talk to it a couple of times to ask it its name and enquire what it thinks it is doing in MY house but it is so rude and aloof (more aloof than me in fact) that it refuses to answer. Maybe it is deaf. Or perhaps dead. I really don't know.

On a number of occasions, Mummy has come home to find that it has in fact moved and she can't understand why. It has turned its back on everybody and is staring at the wall like this:

Do you think he is inviting me to play? Maybe not because I am the only Gay in the Village. There can't be two of us!

Hello Friends and Strangers

2007-08-16T19:46:00.000Z

It has been a little while since I blogged but I have been very tired recently and I have needed to rest. My favourite resting place is on the armchair near the kitchen and you can tell as the blue cush-in now has a big white patch where I have moulted on it.
Anyway, it is nice to see that there are three new people who have commented on my blog one of them being from Canada. I think he is Monty's grandfather. Hello to all three of you, its nice to have new friends.
Also hello to MyOscar and Biggles. I am sorry if I scared you when I told you the story of the nasty people who shot at my house. they didnt shoot directly at me but they did shoot at mummys window and she was very cross. we now have a new window and the police have been to talk to mummy but she wasnt there. i would have talked to them myself but i am not allowed to talk to strangers. Stranger Danger.
That is all I have to say for the moment but I will soon try to put up two pictures which I think you might. I have to wait until my teeth are blue before it will go on the computer.
Goodbye for now.
PaddyGayInDerVillj

SMASH!

2007-08-02T20:52:00.000Z

I got very scared on Monday. mummy had comehome from work early because she had been in the Leeds helping write and interview those silly people for reports. Anyway, I was takinga nice quiet nap on the armchair which is my curren tfavourite place and suddenly I was woken up by a smashing noise. Anyway, mummy went into the bathroom to investigate, I was too scared and there was a hole in the window. There are some social housing asbo children who live in the street behind where I live, it's nasty and I don't go there because I don't approve of common people like that. anyway, they have a game of using my garden and the gardens next door to me as target practice. They have before shot pellet guns at the house which is scary because they might hit me. They have also thrown hub caps and golf balls at my house. This time they were using a catapult thing to slingshot pebbbles at the house.

Mummy was so angry her brand new window which she had fitted last month has been broken. Sbe called the police and they didn't come until Tuesday when I was out and she said they have not been much help so far as she now has to wait for them to come back to get a statement. She has beenso angry all week and I havn't been able to use the computer.

Because I have now only just got use of the computer I need to demonstrate to mummy that it is not just her computer to play with. I need to use it to write my blog so I decided to prove it by guarding it. Aren't I clever. Can you see the picture of Lola on the screen and there is also some of me in the mirror, don't I look beautiful?

I hope my friend Biggles is well as his parents haave been away and he has had the responsibility of guarding the house. My mummy has also been keeping an eye on my Oscar while his mummy is in the Germany.

Pixie is a flat pancake snake

2007-07-21T20:55:00.001Z

an update-under order

2007-07-19T21:07:00.000Z

I have been told that I am not updating sufficiently. Well I am sorry. I am a very busy cat and the computer is rubbish.

Well, what have I been up to?

I have already told my friend Biggles about my towel on the chair. That is where I spend the day. It is nice.

I have also spent a considerable amount of time eating as I have new food. The wet stuff is pleasant because it is sainsburys and it comes in pouches in orange bags. I like orange bags because they match my towel. I also had some morrisons mycat gourmet foil trays. those were also delicious and lola turns into a slut (a slut who actually comes home) when it is on offer. SHE has also attempted to feed me cheap imitation Hills from sainsburys. I dont like this because it contains vegetables. i dont like vegetables. But i do like the morrisons mycat dry fish flavour food.

Hills is still my favourite, apart from ham and real fish. And tuna. And chicken. so not really my favourite at all.

Today there was a scary occurence in my house. On reading MyOscar's blog, i understand that it is called a "dontworryoscaritsonlyamoth" which is a stupid name. it was very big. pixie brought it in. Mummy shut her in the porch with it but it flew up too high and stuck to the wall and she couldnt eat it. that was pixie not mummy of course. mummy doesnt like them either because she didnt know if it was a bird or a dontworryoscaritsonlyamoth but thats because she is blind and she cant see it.

now oscar is in my house with his Staff who is also my other mummy. he is not fussy about the sainsburys dried food, he obviously likes vegetables. [i wish that bloody dog would stop barking and mummy would stop coughing because they are scary noises]

Oscar came to visit. he got stuck in a bush on the way round. lola and pixie came to greet him too. emergency services (ham and mummy and strangers) had to be called out to help his Staff get him out of the bush because she is a cripple with only one arm. Oscar is in the house now but he is downstairs probably looking for his girlfriend.

Hello to my friend Biggles who is very good at updating his blog with lots of pictures.

This is a picture of the dontworryoscaritsonlyamoth

A message for my Oscar

2007-07-03T20:19:00.000Z

My Oscar will be 3 on the 4th o July. I want to wish him a veryhappy birthday from lola, Chuchu ad me, his best Paddy.

There is much rain.

2007-06-26T09:03:00.000Z

I can’t believe it, every time I have left the house in the past couple of weeks it has been raining and raining some more. Is this the return of the 40 days and 40 nights of rain? Will we have to build an ark for me and my fellow cats to travel in?

I went to the vet yesterday to get my teeth cleaned and de-scaled. I had an anaesthetic and lots of fuss from the nurses which I enjoyed very much. I didn’t like the not eating the night before though but that goes without saying.

Mummy was supposed to collect me at 6 20 yesterday afternoon but did not get to the vet until almost 8 o’clock, the weather meaning that it took her nearly 3 hours to get 6 miles in other mummy’s yellow car! It then took for ever to get home and we had to drive through a river in the road. There is a canal near where I live which goes through many streets and houses and it had overflowed into the road. there was a car floating down the road and people were being evacuated. All roads to Wakefield were closed so there really was no proper way in!

I had to be dropped off at Oscar’s house so that mummy and other mummy could wade round the street to check that pixie and Lola were okay. Neither of the houses were flooded and all cats were okay but it was just so so wet! I am clad I don’t live in Sheffield and I really hope it stops raining soon.

Mummy couldn’t get to work today because there were no trains she was stranded at home!

my news

2007-06-17T17:23:00.000Z

Hello my friends, I hope you are well. I know it has been a very long time since I updated my blog, but life has been verybusy.

I’m sure you will remember that mummy was looking after Oscar Molly and Denny while other mummy was away? Well, I wanted to help and go round with her to feed them……and to eat some Whiskas, but I wasn’t allowed. Molly gets upset and gets funny wee if we visit her home so I had to stay at my own home while mummy fed her. This meant that my access to the computer was very limited during that week.

There was a lot of upheaval last week when two men came to work in the house. They broke all the windows and doors, made a lot of banging and then put the windows back again. I think they might be a bit different though as the windows seem bigger and cleaner! It was really horrid, lots of banging and we all got scared and went away for the day. I was most put out as my sleep was being disturbed!

Mummy then went away for the weekend something about going to the Wembley to see a man singing….I thought the Wembley was for football, very confusing! Apparently the singing man was on the telly when mummy was there, but I didn’t see her, far too many people!

This week, has been horrid, I really hate the rain and every day when I have gone out I have got so so wet! Mummy ended up getting a towel to dry us when we came in because she said we were dripping all over the floor and furniture. I liked it as it made me warm!

Oscar came to visit on Wednesday to watch the final of the Apprentice. It was nice to see him although he got much more attention than me! I sulked and I thought the Apprentice result was wrong! Mummy got cross too she said that the man who won it was a bit of a doughnut!

I have a new friend. Moomin who lives in Blackpool sent his mummy to meet me. Apparently she is working on a project with my mummy and has been visiting once a week and will continue to do so for a while she is very nice and gives me lots of attention, I like her very much!

Paddy’s outing.

2007-05-19T16:26:00.000Z

Today I had my yearly outing to see the vet for my injections. I knew someth8ing was happening when mummy locked the cat flap and brought my box in from the shed. Recently it has been Lola who has been to the vet more often than me so I was pleased that it was my turn. I was really hopeful that the vet would take my temperature.

Anyway, I went in the yellow car. Usually I am allowed to sit on mummy’s lap in the car but for some reason I wasn’t today. I had a plan though and howled and squawked annoyingly until she couldn’t take it any more and let me sit on her. I still whined a bit until we got really near the vet and I then started purring.

There was a really noisy scary dog in the vets, I didn’t like him and got sweaty paws because I was nervous. The vet was very nice but was not as competent as using his computer as me! He gave me two injections, I was very brave and did not cry. He didn’t take my temperature though and I was really disappointed about that. He looked in my mouth and said that I have plaque on my teeth and gingivitis and ulcers and need dental treatment. This means I will have to go back and stay in for the day. That will be nice. Mummy wasn’t too impressed though as apparently when she phoned the tesco they said that I’m not insured for dental treatment so it will cost her a lot of money. She was pleased that I haven’t put on too much weight from eating at the neighbour’s house though. I am really cross about this issue, I think mummy has told them not to feed me because every time I go into the house they pick the food bowls up and I sit and growl at them, but they still won’t feed me!

stronghold

2007-05-12T16:02:00.000Z

I am very cross today. Mummy gave all three of us the “stronghold” treatment again. She always does it when we are sleepy, creeping up on us so we don’t have time to run away or get our claws out. It smells yuck and I hate the sound of it squirting out of the tube onto my neck. It makes all of us race around like maniacs. Mummy says it is for our own good so that we don’t get fleas, but I’m not so sure.

A trip to the chinky.

I am getting more adventurous in my roaming these days, going a little further afield than the close where I live. On Wednesday I was playing on the bigish road where the old lady lives who feeds the cats. I sauntered down to the end near the traffic lights which lead to the really scary noisy fast road. I stood outside the Chinese chip shop sniffing around for something nice. Then other mummy came along and picked me up bringing me all the way home. Is it true that Chinese people eat cats?

Lola and paddy's big adventures.

2007-04-21T10:00:00.000Z

I am pleased to say, after my concerned post of last weekend, that my sister Lola is now back at home safe and sound after a bit of an ordeal. She has told me about what happened, her adventure and I will now recount the story, together with my own little adventures and wanderings. Lola disappeared at some point between Thursday and Friday, she told me she went exploring because the weather was so good. She ventured out of the close in which we live onto the next street which is a little bit scary as there are lots of cars to hide under. It is also populated by unusual looking people who play loud music all the time. She got a bit spooked by the noise and went further afield to a big open concrete space where there are lots of garages.

One of the main things which sent her scurrying away was the behaviour of a strange lady on Saturday night. This lady came wandering out of her house at about midnight in her dressig gown and was wandering up and down the middle of the road singing hymns at the top of her voice. She then started screaming and shouting things which mummy said were racialist abuse! Mummy said she was drunk. Because she and other mummy were out looking for Lola they had to keep hiding so the strange lady wouldn’t see them!This made Lola so afraid of things that she went into one of the garages in the scary dark place to hide and couldn't find her way out. She slept a little and hid in among some bags of cement. She did cry out a number of times when she thought she heard mummy calling for her, but mummy didn't find where she was. Poor Lola was really upset. On Sunday morning, she again heard mummy and other mummy looking for her and called out to them. Then a big scary man in a van turned up and started banging really loud. Mummy told us that he was using a sledge hammer to break the padlock off the door. This really frightened Lola who burrowed her way into one of the bags, so much so that when other mummy went into look for her, she was far too scared to come out and they couldn’t find her. Probably just as well, as mummy said the man was really frightening! Fortunately, when the man shut the door again, he didn't do it properly, so that when it was dark and quiet, Lola was able to wriggle out and find her way home, very dirty, tired and hungry. She then went to the vets lucky thing. As for me, I had great adventures roaming everywhere and jumping out of alley ways far away from home eating food from food bowls which aren't mine and climbing over rubble in gardens to lay and hide. The best thing was jumping out on other mummy through a hole in the fence, it really made her jump!I did get mistaken for Lola though a number of times. Mummy had put posters up asking if anybody had seen a tortoiseshell and white cat with a pink collar, I am tabby and white and have a pink collar! I was captured by one of the neighbours and shut in their sitting room, the flat really smelled of old people and wee. I was so glad when mummy came to get me!
Really, do you think I look anything like this? Compare the two pictures and you will soon see how daft it was! Although my sister Lola is pretty, I am far more beautiful don’t you think?

This is me,

and this one is Lola!

I have also been injured. You know I blogged about my PMT a few weeks ago, I can now tell you that my neighbour told tales on me about what I have been being fed, lightly fried cod, beef, chicken etc. I got into a row with one of the other cats, Sparky or Freddie didn't do it but one of the other houses I go to. I had a big bloody scratch on my nose and now it has a scar. It makes me look well tough, except I'm not! So, as you can see, it's been a busy time and I haven't been able to blog. My Oscar also came to visit briefly on Wednesday night, he walked round the road following mummy all the way home without her noticing. He then ran around the close refusing to be caught, he is so naughty!

Paddy is concerned

2007-04-14T16:39:00.000Z

My sister Lola loves the outside. She loves the sunshine and will play for hours. However, she has not been home since Wednesday and I am beginning to get concerned. She came in for a while in the middle of the night for a sleep, but since then has not been seen, well, not close up anyway! Mummy and other mummy have been out looking for her and they think she was seen last night, but nothing since. It is not the same without her. Please come home Lola!

PMT

2007-03-31T16:55:00.000Z

This week I have been very very cross. mummy calls it PMT, paddy’s Mardy Time. I have really been angry and have not wanted to know mummy, Pixie or Lola at all. I have stalked around my street as if I owned the place, which I do. I have not been in the house when mummy is there because I wanted nothing to do with her and I have behaved hatefully to everybody. I like behaving like a queen bitch! But I cannot keep it up any longer and now I am okay. I have realized that all my stropping will not get my food changed to gourmet fish no matter how hard I try.

Making naughty.

2007-03-26T17:47:00.000Z

It was an unusual weekend really. Saturday was quiet and unfortunately we are all now back on ordinary food. On Sunday However, we had a visitor. Denny Pixiechu’s not so little twin brother came round. He is huge, bigger than me and so grumpy. He can’t meow like a proper cat he just chats!

Anyway, he sauntered around the place, hissing at me and little Chuchu, I was not impressed at all! He and pixie then proceeded to chase each other around the house. Then……there was this awful smell! Denny had pooed in the bath! How naughty!

This piece of behaviour has inspired me to tell you all about my top five rated naughtys committed by me and my extended cat family. Please feel free to tell me all about yours, I’d love to hear! Feel free to spot the trend!

5: time out:
When I was a baby, I was sometimes a bit naughty and mummy would make me have time out. This would consist of being put somewhere for five minutes or so until I saw the error of my ways! One day, She thought I had been really naughty, I don’t remember what I had done, so she put me in the bathroom for 20 minutes. When she came to let me out and discuss my behaviour, I had taken my revenge and made my disgust at her treatment of me very plain. I had done a very big poo on the bathroom floor and wiped my dirty bottom on the packet of opened toilet rolls, leaving a nice brown stain! I was so very proud!

4: decorating the living room curtain.
A couple of years ago, when mummy went on holiday, she took me to stay at Yuckifield for a week. She was all packed, her suitcases were in the living room and I was starting to play up. I didn’t want her to go, so I demonstrated my disapproval by squatting and pooing on the curtain and carpet, it made a lovely squidgy mess!

3: Oscar doesn’t like mummy today.
Oscar arrived a few months after me and for some reason, one night, he took a dislike to mummy. He demonstrated this by climbing onto her bed, looking her straight in the eye and pooing on her duvet. If this was not bad enough, the next morning, when she was drying her hair, he sauntered in, climbed on the bed squatted and pooed and weed for good measure!

2: interior designing.
My Oscar and I became great mates and used to love to race up and down the stairs at Yuckifield all day and all night. One day, mummy and Oscar’s mummy were late coming home to feed us, so we decided to have a little more fun. Mummy finally arrived home when it was dark, she came up to see where we were and there we both were, sitting on the landing window sill with our heads poking through a huge hole we had such fun making in the horrible net curtain. It looked so much better after we had finished with it. Mummy pretended to be really cross but she almost pissed hersen laughing!

1: what’s for dinner?
One weekend last summer, Oscar’s mummy had gone down South to see her family. Oscar wanted to visit for the night and so he came round. Mummy fed us Hills and then started to prepare dinner for herself. She got a huge delicious looking piece of steak out of the fridge and put it on the George Foreman grill ready to season. She left it there for a couple of minutes while she put the remaining piece of steak in the freezer. My sisters and I are very good and know where cats can and cannot go in the house. Unfortunately, Oscar does not share such manners. When mummy came back into the house to season her steak, she found Oscar, on the kitchen counter, crouching over the steak, licking biting and growling at it. He thought it was for him. Mummy was so very angry and she and Oscar then engaged in a tug of war with the steak across the kitchen. She won and the steak went in the bin. Oscar was so angry, but not as much as mummy!

more about me

2007-03-16T18:41:00.001Z

I thought it was time to do a little research into the history of where I and my fellow feline counterparts come from. I have found some interesting facts about cats, which you can look at here: http://www.xmission.com/~emailbox/trivia.htm

Some of the most interesting and perhaps unusual things this site tells you include:

• Cats do not have a collarbone, so they can fit through any opening the size of their head.
• A cat has a total of 24 whiskers, 4 rows of whiskers on each side. The upper two rows can move independently of the bottom two rows. A cat uses its whiskers
for measuring distances.
• Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, about 26 cycles per second. (I have also heard that it is 29 cycles per second but I guess it depends on the cat).
• Cats respond most readily to names that end in an "ee" sound. (except Pixie my littlest sister) Maybe that’s why Lola always ignores mummy when she is being spoken to!
• If a cat is frightened, put your hand over its eyes and forehead, or let him bury his head in your armpit to help calm him. (this applies to Lola who is always hiding her face).
• A cat can jump 5 times as high as it is tall.
• If your cat snores or rolls over on his back to expose his belly, it means he trusts you.

Thank you to the person who compiled these interesting facts, there are many more you can have a look at if you are minded to.

This site http://www.cfainc.org/articles/myths-facts.html also helps dispel some of the common myths about cats.

Diagrammatical explanations.

2007-03-11T21:46:00.000Z

Well, it has been a strange week this week. Poor Lola has been on her antibiotic medication which means we have all been getting special food at dinner time. Mummy thinks we are stupid, so she has been hiding Lola’s medicine in her nice food to trick her into eating it. The trick has worked though.

Lola’s bottom still smelled like an abattoir so I was very jealous when she went back to see the vet yesterday to get her glands squeezed again. Here is a picture so you can get a bit of an idea.

The vet wanted mummy to keep a closer eye on Lola’s toilet movements, so we got the dreaded litter tray back.

We were shut in the kitchen while mummy went out, she didn’t trust us not to toilet where we shouldn’t! I don’t know where she gets this mistrust from, just because when I lived or stayed at Yuckifield with my Oscar I used the attic as my own personal toilet. She also hasn’t forgotten the times I crapped on her bed in protest when first Lola and then Pixie arrived! So, we were shut in the kitchen for a while, but because it was hot mummy let us have the run of the rest of the house. She did take all the cushions and rugs away though, because Lola has previously been naughty by peeing on them when she is cross! Poor Lola got so dreadfully upset though, that the litter tray went this morning and we have all been allowed out again al day. I wish mummy would make her bloody mind up!

The bum’s rush!

2007-03-03T15:13:00.000Z

I have had rather a quiet week this week, visiting my other houses for food on a regular basis, staying out late and then coming home for my second dinner. Mummy has been at work all week so the house has been pretty quiet.

There was a bit of an event last night however, as Lola was taken in the car to the vet. She has been rather aromatic in the back end department recently, not a pleasant aroma might I add. She told me that the vet took her temperature, lucky thing (but she didn’t like it) and then they took her into another room and squeezed her glands so that the nasty stuff she was storing in there came out! It was yuck and apparently very painful. She smells much better now though! I wish someone would squeeze my glands! !

Irrational fears.

2007-02-25T14:38:00.000Z

I was browsing the internet and came across this very interesting site about phobias.
http://www.hypnotherapykettering.co.uk/Pages/Phobia%20Description.htm#C
It has a complete alphabetical list of descriptions of different fears and the correct name for the phobia. Some amusing phobias include:

1: fear of Peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth- Arachibutyrophobia.

2: fear of being Tickled by feathers or feathers- Pteronophobia.

3: fear of Washing- Ablutophobia. I think my Oscar has this one!

4: fear of Knees- Genuphobia.

However, I do hope that nobody who reads my site has Aclurophobia, also known as Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Felinophobia, Galeophobia, or Gatophobia. Fear of cats.

Please have a look at the site and let me know A what you think and B which phobia you have.

the scene

2007-02-24T15:47:00.001Z

When I filled in Oscar’s quiz a while ago I said that one of the places I would most like to visit is Blackpool because apparently it has a good gay scene. Well, I understand that a shy cat called Moomin who lives in Blackpool looked at my blog last week but was nervous about putting a comment.

Well, I’d just like to say hello to Moomin and his two sisters Pip and Jen, I think pip is a girl anyway)! I think that Moomin and I may have some things in common. We both have two sisters, he lives in Blackpool and I want to visit Blackpool, but I don’t know if he is gay like me! Maybe he can become my pen pal? I hope so.

I also wanted to say another hello to Biggles who put a nice comment on my site last week. The answer to your question about whether I am also called gay, as in a name, is yes. It was difficult for me to understand about gayness when I was little like you, but as you get older and more worldly wise, you will understand. My friend Monty from London is also a baby and I don’t think he understands about gay cats either! Not sure about Leo and Shadow from Canada though, maybe they don’t have cats of different sexualities in Canada!

Psycho analysis.

2007-02-18T15:58:00.000Z

I have been wondering recently what mine and my sisters’ behaviour and characteristics say about us and how these are interpreted by others. I have therefore decided to give a little synopsis of my ponderings for the interest of those of you who read my blog. Please feel free to add any thoughts or comments.

Lola:
Lola is a funny one, she is symmetrical and beautiful and is always extremely well groomed. She is constantly washing herself and even went as far once as to wash her leg so much that she grew a bald patch. Some of the research I have been undertaking into this behaviour suggests that Lola could be described as having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, more commonly known as OCD. Lola will wash when she is nervous , or if anybody has touched a certain part of her.

Pixie:
Now Pixie is odd, she is almost always so full of energy, racing around everywhere, leaping and charging through the cat flap and jus generally being hyper. Then, suddenly, when she becomes tired she will jus flop and stretch herself out like a flat pancake snake and go to sleep. I have been looking at what her symptoms could indicate by surfing the internet. The nearest I can come up with is Bipolar disorder, more commonly known as manic depression but that isn’t quite right. She definitely has the mania part, but the depression element is simply not there, she is such a happy little thing. Maybe then she is just polar? Another condition which could fit her characteristics is attention deficit hyperactive disorder, ADHD. This means that the individual, or in this case the cat is always hyperactive with loads of energy, but has a very short attention span. Do you think this describes Pixie?

Me: Paddy:

I’m not too sure how to describe myself, other than a little odd. The fact that I only like to sit on the spots on the rug could mean that I am a little asbergers, but I’m not too sure. I also have particular places I need to sit, such as on the back of the armchair, and I need to sleep at the bottom right hand side of mummy’s bed. I also determine whether it is going to be a good or a bad day by which spot on the rug I sit on.

I will have a think about my Oscar, Molly and Dennace and do a little more research into behavioural traits and get back to you about what I think they may have.

annoyances

2007-02-17T10:42:00.000Z

My Oscar has written about the things which annoy him the most. He has persuaded me to do the same, so here they are.

1: Having to share mummy's attention with five other cats.

2: the fact that Pixie is always fed first.

3: not being able to visit the vet to have my temperature taken every week, most unfair.

4: the rain.

5: being told off for climbing on the work surfaces.

6: people not understanding that I like to sulk occasionaly.

7: being removed from under the bed in the orange bedroom, one of my favourite places.

8: being combed.

9: not seeing my Oscar.

10: having to share my bed with pixie Lola and mummy.

brotherly love

2007-02-16T09:14:00.000Z

Today I am very happy. My Oscar bought me a present to show that he does love me after all! I just got a little confused between the brotherly love which my Oscar and I share and the valentines love which he shares with Lola. I didn’t understand that there are different types of love, but mummy has explained this to me.

My Oscar and I used to live together in Yuckyfield you see! We used to play together all the time and we shared a home at the cattery. I think that brotherly love is better than valentines love as you have all the fun and naughtiness without any of the emotional histrionics!

Here is a picture of my Oscar.

Paddy is sad

2007-02-15T15:25:00.000Z

Yesterday was St Valentines day, the day when I thought at last my Oscar and I would be able to share our true feelings for each other. Alas, it was not to be! My beloved Oscar has a girlfriend! He loves my sister Lola! It is not fair, my love remains unrequited……..My heart is broken!

a quiz from my Oscar

2007-02-14T22:37:00.000Z

I got this from my Oscar. Thank you Oscar!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Paddy Ebeneezer,
2. Padster,
3. Little gay boy

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1 my pink collar, it’s beautiful
2.the fact that I have no neck.
3. the fact that my fur is every colour that cats come in. Mummy says I am a complete throwback!

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. The hoover
2. When mummy sprays her deodorant bottle
3. fireworks.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. my feather boa
2. the window sill to sit on
3. food from everybody’s bowl except my own.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. vindaloo
2. it was only a winter’s tail (sorry I mean it was only paddy’s tail)!
3. Max and Paddy’s road to nowhere

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. mincing
2. purring
3. sleeping by the radiator.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. see my Oscar
2. see other mummy
3. play with the fish.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:

1. model
2. gay icon
3. actor

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. Blackpool cause I hear the gay scene is good
2. Catford, to see if there are any cats there
3. the cattery.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:

1. I wear a pink collar
2. I love boy cats
3. I love my pink feather boa)

The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful!

2007-02-09T22:00:00.000Z

In the words of one of my favourite songs, “let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!” It is so cold up here that at night I have to creep under the duvet when mummy is asleep to try to keep warm. I don’t think she minds though as she says I have a warm furry coat!

There is a lot of snow at the moment and it makes the ground very wet and cold under paw! This is a little difficult to cope with when I am going outside all the time since the litter tray has been removed. Pixie loves the snow though, the first time she has seen it! She is manic, running and prancing around like the kitten that she is….not at all dignified like me! I hope the snow goes away soon.

on the spot

2007-02-04T20:22:00.000Z

I hope you like the picture above. This is the new rug my mummy has bought for the decorated sitting room. I like to sit on the rug, but I will only ever sit on the spots! As you can see, here are four spots. I don't feel safe anywhere else on the rug! Even if mummy picks me up and puts me in the middle of the rug I will always gravitate to one of the spots!

upheaval

2007-02-02T21:52:00.000Z

Remember I said that pixie, Lola and I were carted off to Oscar’s house because mummy was painting? Well, when we came back, just over a week, nearly two weeks ago, the house was in such upheaval I could hardly stand it! My room, well, the orange room where I like to lie on the bed by the radiator was completely full of stuff! Everything had been removed from the sitting room and put in there. I could hardly get in and I was most upset that I couldn’t get under that bed that I like!

Well, a man came on Wednesday and made a lot of noise, cutting drilling hammering etc, he he was putting this new floor down. It’s very light in colour, but extremely slippery, li,like ice. I have to be very careful when I walk on it, picking my paws up very high so I don’t slip over! It smells funny too, all new paintlike and clean! Mummy has put a big rug down now, so that when I scratch the mat when she comes in, I can’t pick it up because it is too heavy. It is all blue with big spots. If I lie on one of the spots it is bigger than me!

Mummy has also taken our toilet away! She put the tray outside on Sunday and hasn’t brought it back in! She has just left the flap open all the time, hasn’t locked it once, so we can come and go as we please! I’ve never known such freedom! Lola loves it and pixiechu is mad with it. I still like to sleep inside at night though as it is a bit cold!

I have added some links to some sites of interest. Please look at the bottom of the page.

busy bee

2007-01-18T21:21:00.000Z

Well it's been ages since I last had the opportunity to update my blog, but I've been away rather a lot you see! When I was last able to write, I told you about the fairy that had come to my house and was sitting on top of the christmas tree. Well my sisters and I were fearful that she may try to take over the house and so kept on beating her up, dragging her up the stairs ans conducting hunting practice on her.....she eventually was so trashed that she had to go in the bin!

We all then went to this place called the cattery. It was lovely, there was a really nice lady called Marie who fed us, changed our litter trays, stroked and brushed us and talked nicely to us. Me Pix Lo and Oscar my bedt friend from round the corner shared one palace and Molly who I kind of tolerate now and Dennace shared the other. I missed mummy, but she came back for me and took me to stay at other mummy's house. She said something about having a dog to stay and that we wouldn't like it.

When we were at oscar's house, molly and Dennace were very naughty. they were chasing each other around like mad things when mummy came to feed us. They proceeded to knock this big glass board thing onto the tiled floor and it smashed into millions of pieces! mummy looked shocked and I was scared!

We then went back to the cattery for a few more days and then I went home. I really missed mummy and followed her around like a shadow!

I was so jealous last week, Pixie went to see the vet. it's not fair, I love the vet! she came back with a shaved patch on her side and a funny funnel like hat! she was really cross and kept pulling it off so mummy had to take her back to the vet again. I remember when Lola had a similar operatioh, she was such a good girl and didn't pull her hat off like naughty Pixie!

We then went back to other mummy's house again because mummy said something about decorating! I don't know what she meant but she said it smells funny and we wouldn't like it. Nanny and grandad also came to stay and they brought their yelow thing with four legs and a tail so we couldn't really stay at home.

We were all really bad at other mummy's house, got gate fever and all together plotted to get out of the cat flap. Lola ran away though but Pixie and I were tricked into going inside. Other mummy waved some tuna at us....I love tuna! thought I'd go in for some but as soon as we got inside we were locked in and the tuna was putin the fridge! not fair!

TRAPPED

When Lola had done her bunk, she went home, she told me but because of the yellow thing and the smell of the paint she got sared. She crawled under the kitchen cupboard through a gap a the bottom and decided to wait until the yellow thing had gone. This didn't work though as grandad screwed the bottom bit back on the cupboard and nobody noticed that Lola was under there....she can be as quiet as a mouse sometimes! She was stuck for hours and because she only mewls very quietly mummy didn't hear her. She did eventually hear the bell on her collar though and dismantle dthe cupboard to let her out. Lola was very scared and very hungry. I don't like the dark and I would have cried if that had been me!

We are all going home on Saturday evening. lola says it looks and smells very different now, I wonder what it is like!

the battle of the fairies

2006-12-04T18:53:00.000Z

It's been a very busy week for me, I've been contemplating life and my beauty, hence no updates for a while.

Mummy has gone a little strange, she brought a flashing tree into the house on Saturday, it's all different colours and it's very pretty....like me. I sat and watched it flash for ages and tried to tap it but got shouted at! There are also some very pretty bright stars in the window, my window where I sit and watch the world go by. I like having my window lit up.

The thing I didn't like though was the most tacky fairy you have ever seen. Mummy put it on top of the tree and it really looks stupid! I don't like sharing my house with another fairy! I'm the only fairy in the village after all, so I tried to kill it!

Mummy has also started giving me and my sisters lovely catnip treats every day. She get them out of this thing she calls an advent callender and they are so delicious! I try to fight my sisters for them but Lola, oh meak and mild one that she pretends to be really becomes a bit of a strumpet when they are given to us! She flings herself onto her back and writhes around the floor in ecstassy! how common and basic is that?

We also had chicken for dinner last night, it was lovely!

Why is nobody commenting on my blog, don't they like me?

the drugs don't work, they just make you grumpy

2006-11-26T15:16:00.000Z

I've had a very traumatic weekend so far,I just wish my mum would go back to work and leave me alone!

Yesterday, much to mine and my sisters' disgust, she fed us disgusting tablets! I remember, this thing happens every few months where she chases one or other of us around the house, pins us in a head lock and tries to force our mouths open and feed grim tablets down our throats! I think I'd rather eat worms!!

Well, anyway, when it was my turn, she grabbed me, turned me upside down and I was trying to kick, scratch, bite and do whatever I could to make her go away but she just wouildn't! I kept spitting it out but she kept putting it back and I was dribbling all this pink froth everywhere! I even tried hiding it under my tongue or in my lips and getting rid of it when she wasn't looking, but still that didn't work! and she tells people she's blind! blind my arse!!

When it was Pixie's turn though, she didn't complain as much as me, but she's never had these tablets before......she was really sick everywhere later although i'm not sure if that was the wormer or because Dennace came to visit and kept trying to rape her! I was very jealous of this and thought he might at least give me some sexual attention, but alas, he didn't! he waa just strutting around the house grumbling and crooning!

Lola hid in the spare room to try to get away from the dreaded medicine but mummy found her. I think lola fought her own corner though, as mummy did come out covered in scratches and bites, and by the sounds of the the noises Lola was making I bet mummy was a bit scared!! serves her right!!

THen, because pixie had been sick anywhere none of us got any dinner and I was starving this morning. I could have faded away into nothing, developed malnutrition even! it's not fair!!

the value of diversity

2006-11-23T20:50:00.000Z

As you can see from the picture of me on the right, my mummy bought me a present from the pet shop; a very pretty pink gay feather boa! don't I look magnificent in it? I'm so glad that my mummy is a follower of all things diverse and allows me to celebrate my sexuality with pride! The only trouble is, the feathers keep falling out but there you go! I love to mince around the house, my boa around my body purring and admiring my beauty!

Today I went visiting

2006-11-19T21:26:00.000Z

Mummy is a dirty rotten stop out! last night, she went somewhere, dressed up all nice and didn't come home until after midnight! she didn't bother feeding me or my sisters before she went, so we were all starving by the time she deigned to come home! I mean, how thoughtless is that?

As a result, she overslept this morning and didn't give us our breakfast until almost ten o'clock! yes, i know, we were fed late so what's the big deal you ask, but that's not the point! you know what i said about myself before, i am always thinking of my stomach and where my next meal is coming from!

She got the hoover out then, and i really hate that, it disturbs my sleep and means i have to keep moving from one chair to the next in case she tried to get me with it.

Afte she had done all that cleaning stuff she pretends she loves to do on sundays, she decided to visit other mummy for a coffee as she had run out of milk. Then for some strange reason, she decided to take me with her. She carreid me round there in her arms af if i was some bloody dog or something! she wouldn't let me go and i wanted to sniff the trees as we went past. i didn't like the cars, they were scary and then there was the main road. it made me want to cry!

We got to other mummy's house and then i had to deal with the Dennis again! i don't mind him as i said, but they wouldn't let me play in the garden in case i ran away or got lost or something, i mean, as if! So all the others were out playing and i was in with mummy and other mummy. I didn't mind this as i got lots of fuss and some ham...i love ham!

Molly came in then and we had a little hiss and growl at each other and i got shouted at for being grumpy and unfriendly. it's not my fault if i'm sulky is it? I then got ar ide in the yellow peril home which i like, except i kept losing my balance and nearly falling over.

That was the extent of my weekend, but at least i got to see my oscar!

when a cat comes calling

2006-11-18T10:16:00.000Z

I couldn't believe it yesterday, mummy usually leaves for work at about 20 past 7 in the morning, leaving me and my sisters in peace to play outside or, in my case, just to sleep on the armchair in peace all day. Not only did she get up late and feed us later than usual grr, but she also came home early! She caught me out, I like to create this illusion you see, that I spend a tiring and energetic day playing with my friends and chasing leaves. where did she find me? yep, in the exact spot on the armchair where she'd left me only a few hours earlier!

The advantage of her coming home early though was that she put the central heating on and let me into the spare bedroom. In there, my favourite room in the house, the bed is situated right next to the radiator, so I can just curl up right by the warm patch and go to sleep....blis!!

I was most perturbed later however when we had visitors. sometimes, when mummy goes away she makes me go and visit my other mummy. I don't mind that very much because other mummy and i have a very special relationship. The thing is, which I find difficult to understand, is that other mummy has cats too and I don't get 100% of her attention. I don't like this! Anyway, I like seeing my Oscar and Molly and I have reached this kind of understanding, but then there's Dennis. He looks a bit like my Pixie which is a bit confusing and he tried to play with me which i don't like.

Well, as I was saying before i got distracted, last night, other mummy came to visit for dinner and she brought the dennis with her! Then Dennis and pixie got all overexcited and were playing fighting and chasing each other everywhere and really it was just sooo boring and predictable! He then tried to eat my dinner and i didn't like this at all! mummy removed my dinner so neither of us could have it! I mean, what's that all about anyway? So I got in a bit of a sulk and then Dennis tried to wash my bottom for me! so I snarled at him and sulked some more! He is nice really, but he's a bit young and doesn't understand the hierarchy in my house!

Anyway, that was my traumatic evening yesterday. I was however very pleased this morning to have received an email from Simba, he is a ginger cat who lives in Kent, sounds very nice. He lives with his parents, no other cats lucky thing. so thank you for my post this morning Simba nice to hear from you.

the importance of colour.

2006-11-15T18:35:00.000Z

When it comes to colours, I think they are very important and a good indicater of character. Take my sister Lola for example, she is beautiful (not that I am biased of course). She is tabby and white like me, but unlik me, evreything about her colouring is symetrical. She has this black line, divider as it were down her back, and a kind of seam in the centre of her tummy. This completely divides in half the perfection of her brownish greyish tabbiness.

Then there's pixie, she is also tabby, but a different kind. She is black and brown and cream and she looks almost like a cheetah and she has no white.

Then, finally, there's me. I come in every cat colour under the sun, black, brown, cream, grey and a lot of white. Then, finally, the ever expanding area of ginger! Is it this multitude of colours which makes me such a mixed up cat like I am in terms of my gender? who knows. There's Lola, the sensible intelligent aloof one, pixie the childish fun loving one and then there's me, I can never make up my mind what kind of mood I am in.

if you can't work the cat colourings out, then there's no chance with the humans! My mum is always changing the colour of her hair and it really is disturbing. There's been this purple colour, she's now got these blonde bits which i think have made her go a bit funny in the head.

The other night, she came in from her work thing and was opening the letters. she then started running around the house and shrieking like a mad thing. then my other mummy came round and they rang these people and were talking about identity fraud and bogus applications for credit cards. apparently someone had stolen all my mum's personal details and made this application in her name.

After about ten minutes of snarling on the phone she apparently realized that it wasn't a fraud thinkg like she thought, but it was her who made the application in the first place! so how do you figure that one out then?

So, it just goes to show, how important colour is in determining our characters!

I think I am a bit stupid

2006-11-14T21:10:00.000Z

Hello again, mummy has gone out to work and I have taken the opportunity to try to use the computer. It's cold and raining outside so I don't feel like playing. My sisters are out so it gives me time to pontificate and jot down my thoughts. I am a bit stupid though and don't really know much about this internet thing.

Why is it called the internet anyway? I don't see any nets anywhere!

I had a very peaceful night sleeping on mumm's feet. Was a bit put out this morning though as Lola wouldn't let me eat the food from her bowl, I just sat and watched her, I thought I had been left out. Why do my sisters get fed before m? and why does my mummy not allow me to eat from any bowl, does it really matter anyway? i was here first!

Ah well, that is the burden I have to bear as the oldes and gayest of my sisters!

Hello!

2006-11-13T21:15:00.000Z

Hello my name is Paddy. I live with my two little sisters, LolaBean and PixieChu. I also live with my mummy and she is a bit stupid.

My sisters and I are all tabby cats but PixieChu doesn't have any white. Not like me and LolaCrisps.

I shall tell you a bit about myself. I like to eat very much. Particularly if I am eating the food from my sisters' bowls rather than mine. I also have my favourite places at home. I like to sit on the window sill and watch my friend John. I always scratch the mat when mummy comes home and I have my favourite chair in the kitchen. I also like to scratch the wallpaper and peel it off but I blame PixieChu for that because she is better at it than me. I like to play outside but I don't quite understand this cat flap thing. I am far too important for that and believe in using the door instead- it is much more dignified and appropriate for a gay cat like me.

I don't quite know why I am gay but I just think that boy cats are much more pretty and more attractive than girl cats. I like to mince like I am on the catwalk and I love it when the vets stick a thermometer up my bottom-it makes me purr a lot. I am also a bit of a wimp and I am really crap at hunting.

I will write regularly and keep you updated as to the most recent musings of Paddy Ebeneezer Cat as I like to pontificate and I think it is important to share my views.